Last Letter from Cleavsie

22 Hillhead Drive
West Denton
Newcastle upon Tyne
NE5 5AT

Hi Dude,

Guess who's fucked off from their course, but you probably already knew that. The course was simply shit.

Well I'm on the dole now, I 'sign on' on the Tuesday, it's all a laugh init. Sorry I haven't written for so long but my ex-flatmate is just such as lazy fucker that it took him two weeks to write to me and send me any letters. Lazy cunt!

I'm sorry hear that things are so shit down there, that's part of the reason why I left, it was getting me down too much. I got back to Newcastle on the 6th and I rang up Sos to go to the local pub and we had a few pints there, then Lynchy walked in and we went back to his flat as he had just made 40 pints of home brew which we got pissed on.

(Lynchy always seemed to have home brew on the go. Horrible, gut rotting bitter, but it was alcohol and that was all that mattered.) David
 

After that I went to a party almost every night till Tuesday, good going huh? Me and Sos were going to go the the Mayfair all-nighter that first week, but we ended up going to another 'Barbeque' (sic) party at Laura's house we thought it would work out cheaper. It did! We got absolutely shit-faced.

(Laura and her sister Sarah lived in a former school building out in the fields, on the outskirts of Newcastle. The place was huge which made it great for parties. It was at one of these parties that I met Cleavsie. I accused him of stealing my beer. We've been friends ever since.

Most of the kids that went to these barbecue parties were underage, but Laura's parents didn't seem to mind anyone drinking. I suppose they thought it was safe enough if they were there to keep an eye on things. A few of the parents thought that way. Fools! Apart from the drinking and drugs use, there was cunnilingus in cupboards and.... oh, need I go on?) David
 

We went with Mark and James Gambles. It was a corker. Catherine was there and we were getting off with each other, and I went to the toilet when I bumped into non other than Fiona and we started hugging and kissing each other when Catherine walked past. What a pisser.

So me and Sos went round pinching all the beer, we found a crate in one of the spare rooms and took 6 cans each and walked out when Laura's father caught us, and told us to put them back or fuck off. So we put them back and just pinched 4 each. We then found another crate and got another warning, then we spotted one of the plastic home brew containers which we pinched and sat on the out-house roof drinking from the tap. Once we finished it we started rolling it around trying to play football with it. At about 4.00, after we nicked more beer and stuffed them in our coats, we were told to leave.

So when Laura's mum left the kitchen Sos pinched a full bottle of whisky and stuck it up his sleeve and we left, and me and Sos went back to my house and proceed to drink all the beer.

We kept the whisky for the following week's Mayfair, which we drank before we went in. A good time had by all, I can tell you.

It's starting to get quite crazy up here. After the party at Laura's, the following Monday I went to Lynchy's flat with Sos and Sage, where he had more home brew and a bit of black so we got shit-faced and stoned, fucking great blow-backs I tell ya!

The next Friday me and Sos went down to the Farmers* to meet Ray from college, and then on go on to the Mayfair which was pretty good. Then me and Ray went to Trillians the next day about 11 o'clock and proceeded to get pissed.

(*The long gone Farmer's Rest, which stood at Newcastle's Haymarket bus station, at the corner where Marks and Spencer is now. It had great atmosphere and being on the corner of a bus station attracted a fair share of weirdos and derelicts. Had a good jukeboy though. It was a popular stopping off point midway between Trillians and the Percy Arms. ) David

Caherine turned up at about 1 with her friend and we all went to the Mayfair. (Again, I'm knackered just writing about it.) Then me and Ray went to Trillians on Sunday and Monday.

Scott, Wrighty and Tony went to the last Mayfair last Friday along with Catherine and her friends. By the way Catherine's now going out with Pete, and my love life's a damn disgrace! It wasn't bad except for Catherine, bitch! ha ha

Do you remember that kid called Neil who got a blow-job off Jenny? Well last night we went to his house in South Shields for a party. There were a load of fucking trendies, we came close to fucking the lot of them. Even though one of them gave me a couple of joints, well after I threatened him. Christ what a wanker.

(The infamous blowjob took place in Eldon Square bus concourse, on a Saturday afternoon, in full view of passers by.

This was the era of Bros of course, when trendy kids attached Grolsch bottle tops to their shoes and put bryl cream in their hair. There was always a lot of tension between the trendies and the heavy metal kids, that occasionally resulted in minor skermishes. Thankfully in those days nobody carried knives.) David

Anyway we got kicked out about 9 (I'm starting to get a bit pissed off getting kicked out of parties!) because the stupid fucking trendies started throwing paving stones into the fish pond!

Anyway I bet you can't wait to come back up here at Christmas, we'll have a fucking crazy time eh! Mind you I'm getting very pissed off up here, I really just want to move away. My mum found out the other day that we've got some sponsors to go to Canada, so that cheered my up a bit.

Anyway, I'll see you at Christmas and we'll get pissed, although I don't know how I'll be able to afford it. I'm in debt to the tune of about £1000. Shit eh! Give me a ring when you get back, or write before then.

(It was amazing how far a dole check went in those days. You could go out with £5 pounds in your pocket and spend the whole day drinking. Someone would always help you out with a pint or two.) David

See ya soon
Mark

P.S. Though for the day. Surely it's a crime to squander the best years of your life working. Rock n Roll!!

Second letter from Cleavsie

14D Dibden Court
Stoke-On-Trent
ST4 1PB

Hi Dude,

Guess who's leaving his course as he's so pissed off with this crappy place and course. So I have to write a letter to the course leader and give it him tomorrow (oerr!)

I don't know what the fuck today at the moment I'm just pissing around and getting drunk all the time, which is great but is not going to last forever. (sic)

(Little did he know how long it would last.) David

Friday night was fucking great, we got a crate of Brown Ale in, two bottles of Thunderbird and a couple of bottles of Martini and left them in the flat then went went to the pub and got totally pissed and then came back and finished off what we had left in the flat.

Then Paul made a 'bottle bomb' and we went through that two rounds of that and a couple of 'spliffs', we were absolutely pissed and stoned. And a few friends stayed over we didn't go to bed until 4.30 in the morning it was fucking great. Then it was a repeat performance on Saturday and Sunday started at one o'clock, me and Mark went to the Freetown club and got our dinner and a few drinks there plus there was a jazz band playing and they did a cover of 'Knocking on Heaven's Door' which was pretty damn good. Then we went back to our friends flat who had stayed over on Friday and we finished off the bottles of Thunderbird and Martini. We then went back to our flat and I started running cars, and nearly put my foot threw this 'G Reg Golf's windscreen. I was shitfaced.

(Running over cars became something of a common occurance when we were out drinking. It was never something planned, and we certainly never intended any harm. It was just one of those stupid things we got up to. I don't have any memory of us causing any damage with this game, although our cuban heels must have left marks on a few car bonnets.) David

Then we picked up Tony and went to the pub after a couple of joints. I've never played pool so good in my life as long as I remember which end of the cue to use. I've just about recovered now and we're going to have another good session tomorrow.

Anyway how's it going on down in London? Are you still thinking of getting a transfer back to Newcastle? I'm going back to Newcastle soon so let me know if your coming up at all.

Fiona wrote to me about an account of her going to Scotland! Weird or what?

(Fiona had been Mark's girlfriend over the summer. Then broke up when he left to go to University in Stoke.) David

Well I better write my letter to the course leader.

See ya

Mark

A Letter from Cleavsie

14D Dibden Court
Stoke-On-Trent

ST4 1PB

Hi Dave,

Hope it's getting better for you now, cos it certainly is for me. Last Thursday five of my mates came back to our room and we got a few crates of beer in and drank them all, then my friend had a bag of dope so we ended up smoking dope till four in the morning.

I woke up at about 7.30 and thought I was dead! You wouldn't believe the amount of dope in our flat, it's like 'Dope City'. We wake up in the morning to the smell of joints, it's incredible.

(Oh but I would believe it, because I know how much we smoked later.) David

Well Catherine wrote to me again, apparently she and Derek have split up. She was really pissed off as well as I went back home last weekend but I didn't go to the Mayfair and she was there. In fact so was Scott, Stu and Fiona!! and I didn't go!!! I went down to the "Green" on Saturday and she didn't turn up, so I rang her (silly thing to do) she was pissed off.

(Catherine was a girl Mark was fooling around with over the summer. I don't think it ever went beyond the platonic, however much she tried.

The Mayfair, is of course Newcastle's famous Mayfair Ballroom, where we went to the rock club ever Friday and Saturday.

The Green is Old Eldon Square in Newcastle. It was where most of the younger rock crowd hung out on a Saturday afternoon and got drunk. It was like one long outdoor party on the Green.It was a good place to meet cute young rock chicks on a fine afternoon. These days, the so-called Goth kids still hang out there, but the party atmosphere dried up a long, long time ago.) David

I was going to go home this weekend but I'm going to see the Pixies here this Saturday, so I might go home the following weekend instead of the 26th if that's ok with you.

So you'll have to get back in touch with me, and you'll have to tell me what you thought of 'Jane's Addiction', I'll say it again they were fucking excellent.

(I thought Jane's Addiction were a horrible band. Artschool fuckwits with no balls. I liked bands with long hair that knew how to rock. My attitude towards them has mellowed, but I'll never be a fan the way Mark was.) David

When I went back home I saw Sos and he went to see J.A., it turned out he was sitting crossed legged on the stage and the bouncers just left him alone. He was swapping cigarettes with Dave (Navarro) the guitarist, then Sos seen a drumstick on the stage and he told Dave to go and get it for him. Dave ran across the stage and got it for him, he also got the setlist (WHAT A BASTARD!!!)

(This seems unbelievable, but it does sound like Sos. He always had balls for anything. The bouncers must have been having an off night.) David

Have you seen Mark yet, the one who lives 1 tube stop away from you? And who's this Kelly girl, is she nice looking enough to shag?

(That would be Mark Crinion, one of the original Jolly Boys. I have absolutely no memory of who Kelly was. Probably a girl that I met at the Astoria or the Marquee Club.) David

So I heard you got rid of Niall out of the band the easy way, well at least he'll not kick your head in of you had asked him to leave.

The girls down here aren't too bad. My mate (and) me don't think the girls in our year are that nice, so we've been getting off with the second year's doing our course.

Guess what when I went home last weekend my mum said she wanted to move to another country and wanted to know how Michelle and I felt about it. Michelle said she would definitely go and I said so would I. So she been in touch with the American and Australian house to get information and forms sent out. If all goes well then we might be moving, next summer or sooner, so I'll just do one year of my course.

(Mark's mum has made plans to move abroad numerous times. It's still yet to happen.) David

Well I better get going now, so get in touch with me to let me know if you can come home a week earlier, and give me a phone number if you've got one.

Mark

Boots, Beer and Women

I recently came across a few letters from my best mate Mark 'Cleavsie' Cleave, which I just have to share because they really sum up our lives on the rock scene.

At the time these were written I was living in East Ham in a really grotty shared student house. I wasn't enjoying my course and I no longer saw the friends I'd made whilst living in Halls of Residence during my first year. London had become a lonely place, my band wasn't going anywhere and I wanted out. Mark was feeling the same way up in Stoke.

Cleavsie and I had become firm friends after meeting at a party over the summer. His letters give a taste of what our lives were like thereafter. Everything revolved around drinking, smoking dope, getting into fights and trying to meet women.

'Boots, Beer and Women' became our motto, the boots referring to the cowboy boots which were essential wear amongst serious rockers like us.

And that's pretty how things remained for the next 5 years. It's a miracle that we managed to survive, much less that we actually managed to get any women!

Once again, the letters are present as written. Punctuation was not Cleavsie's forte. Then again, I'm surprised he was able to write at all.

Over Kill - Astoria, London

The following is a review which I wrote for the student newspaper at City of London Polytechnic. It's probably the first thing that I ever wrote for publication. For some reason I was at the gig on my own, (I think the mate I usually went to gigs with had gone home to Northern Ireland for the weekend.) As I recall, I had one drink all night! Holsten Pils was usual at the Astoria. £2 a bottle. That's probably how I was able to write a review afterwards.

Anyway, the review is presented exactly as it was written at the time. It's a bit clunky in places and very much in the style of Kerrang magazine. Back in those days Kerrang and Metal Hammer were the bibles of the heavy metal world, so their style was the one to emulate. At that time I had a collection of over 300 issues of Kerrang. Sadly, a little over year on from this gig grunge arrived, Kerrang began to sell out big time and I decided to put my collection in the paper bank. I still regret that decision.

This was US speed metal band Over Kill's first and long overdue appearance on these shores since the "Hell On Earth" bash in Leeds back in late 1987. Their performance on that occasion, as support to Megadeth, was credible though hardly outstanding. Since then, little has been heard of the New Yorker's in Britain. Whilst most young bands tend to become forgotten about in the onslaught of new talent, after such a long hiatus, Over Kill seem to have developed a fanatical fan-base here in Britain. (Or London at least.) A testament to the strength of their recorded work.

Tonight's show was sold out days beforehand. The 'bangers packed Charing Cross Road for hours prior to the doors opening, pervading the air with a sense of tension and suppressed electricity. A massive police presence outside the venue did little to quell the excitement.

Having been suitable "warmed up" by a brief set from up-coming San Francisco quintet Mordred, this audience was ready to explode. It's rare to see a crowd so wild before a show. Unless it's for a Slayer gig.

The moment the lights dimmed and the air filled with dry ice and the howl of air-raid sirens, the moshers erupted into a vast seething mass of flying limbs and wildly flailing hair. As opening cut, 'Time to Kill' hacked its way through the air I was whisked away in a whirlpool of rapidly bloodied bodies. All slamming as if their lives depended on it. Anyone who had come down expecting a sedate evening with a pint or two, was in for a rude awakening!

Despite a muddy sound mix the band rapidly gained momentum, battering the audience with such classics as 'Powersurge' and 'Hello from the Gutter'. Diminutive vocalist Bobby 'Blitz' Ellsworth seemed to be having the time of his life. One moment on top of the P.A., the next dashing across the stage to shake hands with the rabid hordes on the other side. It's rare to find a true showman in thrash circles but this man is it. Constantly urging the crowd to shout themselves hoarse, whilst never missing a beat, 'Blitz' couldn't put a foot wrong.

Next on the menu was every one's favourite, 'Wrecking Crew'. Unbelievably it drove the fans into an even greater frenzy. The stage diver were pouring off the stage like lemmings. I'm sure there were a good few hundred wrecked necks after that one. A killer cut.

Of course no great show is complete without the odd moment of pure cornball, and this one was no exception. The inevitable 'Who's Louder?' contest saw the two halves of the audience trying to out-do each other with chants of 'Fuck You' and 'I Hate'. Still it's only rock 'n' Roll.

The lapse was only momentary, with the pace once more reaching warp speed with 'Rotten to the Core'. By now the band were unstoppable, intend on pummelling fans and critics alike, into total submission. They had us firmly between the teeth, and were not going to let go.

As the crowd began to filter out, I witnessed several battered and bruised moshers barely able to crawl away. What do you mean, did I enjoy it?!

The only questions remaining about this band is why they haven't scaled the same peaks of success as Metallica or Anthrax. This is probably one of only two bands with a remote chance of climbing up alongside the 'Big Four' of thrash. Tonight's turn-out proves they have a substantial and committed following. Yet despite a major label contract with Atlantic, they still aren't shifting the truckloads of albums they deserve to. Life is so unfair! Perhaps tonight's presence of MTV is about to change all that.